It's hard to believe that it has been 4 weeks since the start of this journey. 4 weeks ago, our lives seemed so normal. We were beginning to prepare for our son- ordering nursery bedding, starting a registering for a shower, beginning to read a book on childbirth (Nik and I laugh now about how we went through that whole process without knowing much at all!). Of course, we still hadn't done much because we all thought we wouldn't be meeting Pierce until August. Little did we know that in just a few short hours we'd be meeting him face to face. But that is usually how trials come upon us. Isn't it? No one is expecting situations as dark as ours. No one is ever prepared for them.
Over the last 4 weeks, I have frequently wrestled with fear/anxiety/worry. I have prayed and continue to pray that God will teach me to cast all my cares on Him. This is something that is much easier said than done. In fact, I don't think it's something that we naturally do on our own. God has used this situation- one in which I literally have not one ounce of control- to force me to cast my anxiety on Him. I find peace when I reflect on how far He has carried us and the many miracles He has performed in Pierce's life. My cares suddenly melt away. (I read this blog this morning to remind myself of God's goodness in our situation.)
I'm sure those of you who've followed our blog from the beginning, have been able to sense the emotional rollercoaster that we have been on since the start. Indeed there are many good moments, and many bad. But I can continue to tell you that God is so good. He has remained our only steadfast comfort. His word is an anchor for our souls. We have found joy in our suffering and as James tells us, we know that God is using this time to make us more like Christ. For that, we rejoice because we know as Christians, that is our greatest goal in life.
Last night was a good night for Pierce (yeah!). He remains on low vent settings (he's pretty much at the lowest possible settings). We received a call this morning from the pediatric neurosurgeon and he'd like to operate tomorrow afternoon to place the temporary shunt. While this is scary for us, we know it is something that must be done. Our little guy must have quite a headache from all that fluid building up. Because surgery is on the horizon, they decided not to make the jump from the ventilator to the CPAP machine (Pierce would have to then be re-intibated tomorrow before the surgery). His feedings are still going well, but of course they will keep a close eye on them.
Please pray for Pierce as we prepare for yet another surgery tomorrow. Pray that no new complications arise and that throughout this week God will bring about great progress and healing. Pray also for the many families that are in similar situations as ours. I am constantly reminded of how many others are suffering right alongside of us.
Christ is all,
PS- I hope you all got to read Nik's blog from last night. His sense of humor has had me constantly laughing. I wasn't in the room when he held him, but I have a very funny mental image of him foaming up his chest (we've all become slightly OCD about the antibacterial hand foam) before holding our little guy.