Happy Birthday (pt.3)

For Pierce's birthday party, I wanted something simple. Something low key. I had no idea how my emotions would hit as the day unfolded. It was after all the anniversary of the most traumatic day of my life. And yet, the most joyous occasion as well- my son's first birthday. So we decided to keep it small- just immediate family. It was perfect. And Pierce had a blast being the center of attention. Here are a few shots from our party at home:

 

Circus themed masks for the guests

 the spread... popcorn bags, circus peanuts and cupcakes

 P's elephant cake

  We pitched a tent in the backyard

 

Green beans all over his face 

 

"Hmm...I think that looks like a fun toy"

 

Hamming it up for everyone

Side note: this was our second cake smash. We had done one earlier in the week for our family photo shoot. Sadly, both attempts ended in tears. (I guess we've always got August to try again!) He enjoyed the taste of cake and even managed to swallow a few bites, but he couldn't stand the slimy feeling of the icing between his pudgy fingers :)

 Right before the tears...

 and with the tears, we concluded our party. 

Overall, it was such a wonderful day. Everything was perfect. Our visit to the NICU. Our party at home. And the down time spent in the in between. Was it emotional? Sure. Did I make it through without shedding tears? No way. BUT it was perfect. The tragedy of the anniversary did not overshadow our joy. 

Please be praying for us as we have lots of appointments this coming week (pediatrician, eyes, pulmonology, neuro, PT, etc.). Our biggest appointment is on Friday. Pierce will be going to the neurosurgeon to have an MRI to check on the status of his shunt. Please be praying that this will go smoothly and that the results would show the shunt is functioning properly and that Pierce's brain has grown sufficiently.

Much love, The Franks Family

Happy Birthday! (pt.2)

We survived the big birthday! Really, there were no words to describe the amount of gratitude and joy that swelled in our hearts on Friday as we reflected on how far Pierce has come.

Take a look at the difference a year has made:

Our first stop to celebrate: The NICU. It only seemed logical that we would head back to the place where it all started. Celebrate with the some of the most amazing folks. Literally the Levine NICU team are the most talented and skilled team we've ever met. Not many 23 weekers survive, and even less do as well as Pierce has done- we know this is nothing short of a miracle. We also know that God used each every one of the staff at Levine to help Pierce.

We saw Andi, one of Pierce's amazing nurse practitioners.

And then Tony, another amazing practitioner that cared for our boy

Then there was a special meeting with Dr. Keuser. Dr. Keuser was Pierce's primary Doctor for a good portion of his stay. He will always hold a special place in our hearts as he was there with us in the very beginning when Pierce was so sick and not expected to survive.

And then, of course, we HAD to see our very special primary nurse Lindsay. She's no longer our nurse, but now our primary babysitter :) And of course, our friend.

And then we headed down the hallway to NPCN, where we saw Pierce's NPCN primary nurse, Vicki. We bragged about how well P is eating now (the NPCN girls spent endless hours teaching our boy to bottle feed)

And Linda was there too!

Finally we HAD to get a shot of the hospital behind us. We hope to only see the inside of that place when we go for elective visits now :)

Stay tuned for pt.3... which will include photos from our family party at home!

We're off to celebrate another miracle today- little Liam. Liam was Pierce's neighbor in the NICU and his first best bud.

Happy Saturday!

Happy Birthday (pt.1)

Today's the day. He's one. From one lb to one years old (and 19lb 4oz!). God has been so, so good to us. We're off to celebrate with the ones who made this all possible- the amazing NICU staff who cared for P in the very beginning.

But before we run out, we wanted to share with you our new and improved project website. Check out the website, read our update and consider helping us as we launch this effort to support local families of micropreemies.

www.piercesproject.com


Loads of pictures on the way!!!

Love,
The Franks Family

Reminders of the Past

“There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.” -Harry Crews

 

We all have them. Some big. Some small. Some inside. Some outside. Scars are an interesting thing- reminders of where we've been, what we've been through and how far we've come. Those we wear on the outside nakedly display to the world our past. But they also offer opportunities for conversation- an opportunity to share our own experiences with others. So why my fascination with scars today?

Every time I bathe my sweet baby boy, I can't help but look at his scars (and they are many) and remember snapshots from the days he earned them- the highs and lows of our NICU journey are represented on Pierce's body. I consider these scars symbols, which help me to remember the important things in life and a constant reminder of how fragile our lives are. His scars give us an incredible opportunity to proclaim the goodness of our Lord to any who inquire. I've watched time and time again at how God has used these very scars to bring nurses, drs, and other listeners to tears.

In a way, I'm almost glad he has them. Not only do they make him unique, they are also simple reminders of how far God has carried him (and us) throughout these past 8 months. They offer perspective. But more importantly, they offer hope. Hope for Pierce's life (in reflecting on how far God has brought him) and hope for others who are faced with similar situations ("With God all things are possible.")

And while I'm sure he'll gain more scars as he grows (he is a boy after all!), I thought it'd be neat to share with our readers (especially those who will remember praying for him while he was earning these scars) some of the marks God left behind to remind us of Pierce's journey:

Because Pierce's skin was so fragile (almost jello-like in the beginning), the leads that they placed on him to monitor his vitals did significant damage to his skin. Many people assume he had a skin graph, but this is just how it healed.

Above Pierce's belly button, off to the left, you can see his scar from the VP shunt. 

 

Under his left armpit is the scar from his PDA ligation surgery.

Another scar that resulted from underdeveloped skin.

He has a couple on his head from the VP shunt and the VAD, but because we have had significant hair growth (yeah!), I couldn't get a clear picture.

It is my prayer that as Pierce grows he will wear these scars proudly and use them as an opportunity to tell all who ask about our God's faithfulness.

Much love,
Lindsay

Questions

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18


Will he be able to walk? Will he be able to talk? Will he be able to learn? Hear? See? And run? These questions run through my mind as if I pressed the repeat button on a cd player. Literally, every day, not long goes before one of these questions enters my mind. Then, what usually follows is a series of intense emotions- fear, pain, grief, sadness, anger. I find myself growing bitter towards those who have healthy children. They never have to worry about those things. They go about their day, posting casual photos on facebook... "Oh, Johnny found his toes." Great. "Johnny is rolling over." Great. "Johnny is walking." Great. Great. Great. It's SO embarrassing. Really, I shouldn't be this way. But I am. (Sigh) And I really regret having to confess this.

But what God has been doing in my heart is to incredible not to share, so I bare my soul. I'm sure many of you have been or are in the same position as me. I know so many of you reading this have children who have had less than perfect starts. Their lives have been filled with struggles and while little Johnny was finding his toes, our children were struggling to stay alive. You know what it's like to wrestle with these intense emotions. And maybe you're like me, finding yourself confused as to how to process these emotions in light of your faith.

People, usually those who have no clue what it's like to watch your child suffer, say things like, "Look how far he's come," and "He's going to be fine." And yet, those questions continue to repeatedly play. Over and over again. Again and again. Never-ending.

I know we are so blessed- Pierce eats great and as of now,  has fairly minor issues. We know how blessed we are that he has overcome great odds to make it home to us. But we are also so very aware that we are still in the beginning stretch of a marathon. We have come so far, yet have so far to go. So many of the above questions will not be answered for several years. Some days it feels like we are in an airplane, circling the ground, unsure of where where we will land. Will it be hot? Cold? Bumpy? Smooth?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the fear of the unknown can be very overwhelming. But God is teaching me not to fear. To not fear the unknown demonstrates your trust in Him, in His goodness. I am also seeing the fact that I so often get stuck in the mindset that this world is it, so I better make it the best it can be. But that's not so. This world is not final. And because of Christ, this world is the worst that I will experience. So to fear something that is so temporary, so fleeting, reveals the disbelief in my heart. 

As I've wrestled through this, I've found my questions have started to subside. They're not gone, and I don't anticipate they will ever be. But they're not as terrifying. They're less intrusive. And instead of the questions, I'm remembering that God is good, He does good and He works things for good. So whatever struggles He allows us to endure, I am trusting that He will grant us the grace to make it through. And while I definitely think that the character of God demonstrates that it is ok to want the best for your child, I also find that it shows that God loves Pierce more than I could possible imagine and He wants what is best. But perhaps my definition of "what's best" has been wrong, not in line with what Scripture teaches. If Pierce can run, jump, laugh, and play but doesn't know Christ, what good is that? (Matthew 16:26) So tonight as I tuck Pierce in, my prayer will continue to be the same that Nik and I have prayed since he was born- that God would heal his entire body- his brain, his lungs, his heart, his eyes, his bones- but more importantly, that Pierce would never know a day apart from Christ. That is my prayer now and always.

Thank you for walking this journey with us.

Lindsay