Well it surely wasn't the Mother's Day I had planned. In fact, I hadn't planned on being a mother for this Mother's Day. But I can't put in to words how truly grateful I am to have Pierce with us this year. Today was hard, as you can imagine. Going to the restaurant, seeing all of the moms with their kids, longing to have mine with me. I found myself growing bitter at some of the moms. Even moms in the NICU. It's hard when you go into the NICU waiting room and hear a mom telling about how their full-term, 8 lb baby is having a "rough" time because they have to be in the NICU for observation for a few hours. Everything in me wants to scream and say, "Seriously? A hard time? You don't have a clue." I know this is totally the wrong attitude to have, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I struggled with this sin. But God is gracious. I am constantly drawn to the verse we posted last night ("Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:6-7), which reminds me to lay down my pride. To be humble amidst this trial has indeed been a challenge, and I don't expect that to change. But I am learning that God grants us grace when we are weak to fight sin. He strengthens us. And He alone brings comfort. I spent a good portion of the day reflecting on the many trials that God has brought us through and how far we have come in 3 1/2 weeks. For that, I am also grateful. For the many ways in which He has worked in my heart. For the ways in which He has used this experience to work in so many of your lives. For how He has brought Nik and I closer together. And for the love He has poured out on the 3 of us during this difficult time.
Pierce had a pretty good day today. He enjoyed seeing his Nana and Papa (my parents) today. He was so well-behaved, he even made a little card for mommy (thanks Rachel and Ashlie for helping him make it for me!).
I have also been amazed and truly astounded at the love and support you guys have shown. So many of you have taken time to write notes of encouragement, donated money, and prayed continuously for us. Thank you.
Little man had a relatively good day. As we mentioned earlier, the x-ray revealed a suspicious spot in his bowel, but the good news is that it did not worsen and in fact, it was so small that the radiologist didn't even seen it. The 4 o'clock x-ray didn't reveal anything so that is also great news! They will still treat Pierce as if he has NEC (bowel infection) and let the antibiotics run their 7-day course. They will also continue to hold feedings until the antibiotics are finished. (For those of you who wonder how Pierce will survive without eating, a question that I wondered early on, know that he will still be receiving TPN which is an IV nutrition that has all of the essential life-sustaining ingredients and is absorbed in the bloodstream so as not to affect his oh so sensitive gut.)
Continue praying for Pierce's bowels as the big risk will come when they resume feedings on Friday. Pray that any infection will be completely healed and that the suspicious spot on the bowel will not be anything to be concerned over. Also pray for the fluid build-up in Pierce's brain. They were unable to do a spinal tap today as Pierce did not tolerate the positioning yet again. Apparently he's very picky about how he lays- something he definitely got from his daddy. :) I think they will attempt to do one tomorrow if P cooperates. Pray that tonight will be a quiet night and that no new issues will arise. His blood gases have been fabulous, which means that he is doing well on the lower ventilator settings. This is great because it points to a slight improvement in his lungs. We didn't kangaroo him tonight because he was all settled and resting well. Hopefully we will have the opportunity to do it again really soon.
Finally, please pray as there are at least three new families of 24-weekers that were just admitted. Our hearts ache for them as we know the pain/shock they are dealing with. We know the grave statistics they are being told as well. And we know that apart from a miracle, these little ones have little hope. But we know that the same God who loves Pierce, is watching over them and our hope is that each and every one of them will grow to be big and strong. Please join us in praying that God sustains each of these little micropreemies.
Lindsay, Nik and Pierce